After spending a Christmas in Taiwan and a few Christmas in Taiwan, never would I ever have thought I would be spending a Christmas in South America!
Yes, my dream is to spend a Christmas in America, but by that I mean United States. Possibly NYC. I guess I can write 'Spend Christmas in South America' on my bucket list and cross if off straight away!
Some people say everything happens for a reason. I don't always believe in this but this trip has made me very appreciative of my previous travel to South America. My previous trip had a 24 hour delay in Santiago de Chile. My friends and I subsequently walked around the city during the day and we were able to see snippets of this city. After that little quick tour, I decided I would like to come back and really explore it again. This visit to Santiago has forever made me fallen in love with the city. Santiago such an amazing city. It is well organized, yet you can see a very diverse and evidently very much divided by class. Chileans are not very friendly. They are very cold. Yet they are steamy in the parks - much because there isn't such a pressure to move out once you are over 18. Food here is great. Fruits here are cheap. It's simply an amazing city.
Buenos Aires, though, was much more disappointing. I think because I had a much higher expectation for this city, and my expectation was not met. My mother raved about this city. She said it was a city famous for many many things and they'd spent a great deal of time during high school reading about this city. Sure it is famous for being the origin of tango, but much of this has become a part of tourism. It's not that I don't like touristy things, I just cannot take it in large quantity. Our visit to La Boca was both enriching and disappointing. This area has become a popular tourist destination and has lost its original meaning and significance.
Our first day in Buenos Aires was not a good one. Something shady was going on and this left my brother and I very scared and concerned for our safety. However, everything changed over the next few days. We began to feel safer and much more secure. Buenos Aires is definitely a city worth visiting and it is full of things to do. However, Argentina as a whole is not so stable and it is evident throughout the streets and shops.
Finally, our final destination, Mendoza. Mendoza is by far my favourite city so far this trip. It is most likely because this is where I am 'based'. The wine here is superb - I am a red wine lover, and there's nowhere else to be but here to drink the best red wine. Most wine here are just so easy to drink and so smooth. Though much of this town has also been taken over by tourism, it still retains much of its original flavour on the streets. Siesta is still common here. I have finally gotten used to not being able to buy much or do much during 2~5. Eliminating my shirt tan has also been on my to do list and surprisingly is actually happening!
Christmas is probably one of the best time in the year. Although I come from an Asian family who doesn't really celebrate this day, I have fallen in love with this day over the years. It is just such a festive season and the endless stream of happiness during this period is phenomenal. This year I am spending it with 5 other Australian - 1 of which is my brother. It is a very different Christmas than those that I'm used to, but it is an experience. I wish more than anything else to be with my friends and family (friends more than family haha), but I'm just taking it all in. I am in South America!!!
I have no idea what has gotten into me but I just have this urge to go back to Taiwan. However, I am coming to terms with the limited possibility of going the coming year, and also the years after.
Youth is a beautiful thing but can be hard to work around.
Well. Merry Christmas from Argentina!
Feliz Navidad!
-Daniel
2013年12月25日 星期三
2013年11月16日 星期六
Doubts, Debates and Dazzling.
Tonight I had my birthday celebration with my university friends.
It was so surreal and special.
Accepting the fact that I am now ready to go into my 5th year of university study has still not sunken in for me.
I still look back to that first day in high school. My family getting super excited and taking photos in the morning. I wore my shorts super high and tucked my shirt in. Pulled that long socks up and put my hat on (who the hell puts their hat on). Remembering getting from K Block to A Block was the biggest challenge. The second day of school, there was a huge rain. I had no idea how to get to A block, once again. In the heavy rain, a year 12 helped me there. We shared an umbrella, but nevertheless we were both wet. I was soaked wet. I got to class and I could not concentrate at all. I was drenched.
Fast forward, waking up the last day of high school was interesting too. I woke up and thought to myself 'this is it, this is where your life begins'.
I know that's what I'm going to feel next year too at my university graduation.
Remembering my first day at university, I was super lost. Not only did I have to come down from Brisbane to Gold Coast, I also missed the orientation day. I had no idea how university worked. I could not find any buildings. I arrived to the lecture late, and also drenched in sweat. I remember I didn't know where to sit as I really had no friends. I also remember not understanding a word at all in the biology lecture - as I have no background in biology whatsoever. The words 'mitochondria' scared the living hell out of me. Protein synthesis, cell membrane, cell wall. All I could think of was 'what the fuck?'
Fast forward now, my daily routine includes picking up a syringe that most people hate and injecting people with copious amount of local anaesthetic solution. Looking at teeth everyday and dealing with people's problems with their oral health.
5 years of high school sure go by quickly. 4 years of university has gone by quickly too. I have accomplished more than I could ever imagined. By the end of next year, it would be my 10th year of proper education (primary didn't really count!). It has been a long road hasn't it?
The celebration tonight was more than amazing. Having a group of friends that I love the most was unbelievable. However, I also had to face the sad fact that I will not see half of these people next year. Placement will be putting us in different places at all times. Suddenly I felt like I was detached from my closest friends against my will. I am pulled away by this unknown force without wanting to do it. Yet this is life isn't it? When we graduate, that's it. We will never all be in the same room together - or the occasion would be very rare. Will any of them remember this night as clear as I would?
This also begs me to question myself, what the fuck are you doing with your life right now?
Recent months have been a roller-coaster ride itself. I'm now starting to realise my stupidity and reflect on the true values of my previous actions. If you can't sort yourself out, why the fuck are you helping someone?
Sometimes the lights are too shiny and you become blinded for a second and lose your way. Maybe it's time to find that path again. Maybe letting go isn't so hard sometimes.
-Daniel
It was so surreal and special.
Accepting the fact that I am now ready to go into my 5th year of university study has still not sunken in for me.
I still look back to that first day in high school. My family getting super excited and taking photos in the morning. I wore my shorts super high and tucked my shirt in. Pulled that long socks up and put my hat on (who the hell puts their hat on). Remembering getting from K Block to A Block was the biggest challenge. The second day of school, there was a huge rain. I had no idea how to get to A block, once again. In the heavy rain, a year 12 helped me there. We shared an umbrella, but nevertheless we were both wet. I was soaked wet. I got to class and I could not concentrate at all. I was drenched.
Fast forward, waking up the last day of high school was interesting too. I woke up and thought to myself 'this is it, this is where your life begins'.
I know that's what I'm going to feel next year too at my university graduation.
Remembering my first day at university, I was super lost. Not only did I have to come down from Brisbane to Gold Coast, I also missed the orientation day. I had no idea how university worked. I could not find any buildings. I arrived to the lecture late, and also drenched in sweat. I remember I didn't know where to sit as I really had no friends. I also remember not understanding a word at all in the biology lecture - as I have no background in biology whatsoever. The words 'mitochondria' scared the living hell out of me. Protein synthesis, cell membrane, cell wall. All I could think of was 'what the fuck?'
Fast forward now, my daily routine includes picking up a syringe that most people hate and injecting people with copious amount of local anaesthetic solution. Looking at teeth everyday and dealing with people's problems with their oral health.
5 years of high school sure go by quickly. 4 years of university has gone by quickly too. I have accomplished more than I could ever imagined. By the end of next year, it would be my 10th year of proper education (primary didn't really count!). It has been a long road hasn't it?
The celebration tonight was more than amazing. Having a group of friends that I love the most was unbelievable. However, I also had to face the sad fact that I will not see half of these people next year. Placement will be putting us in different places at all times. Suddenly I felt like I was detached from my closest friends against my will. I am pulled away by this unknown force without wanting to do it. Yet this is life isn't it? When we graduate, that's it. We will never all be in the same room together - or the occasion would be very rare. Will any of them remember this night as clear as I would?
This also begs me to question myself, what the fuck are you doing with your life right now?
Recent months have been a roller-coaster ride itself. I'm now starting to realise my stupidity and reflect on the true values of my previous actions. If you can't sort yourself out, why the fuck are you helping someone?
Sometimes the lights are too shiny and you become blinded for a second and lose your way. Maybe it's time to find that path again. Maybe letting go isn't so hard sometimes.
-Daniel
2013年11月9日 星期六
Deadlines, Dejections, and Discoveries.
It's been over 3 months since I last revisited this blog.
Life has been surreal for the last 3 months. I don't even know where to begin to record this past 3 months down in an abridged, yet detailed manner.
Let's start with my unbelievable trip to Peru.
Peru was simply stunning. Beautiful. Every part of the trip took my breath away. I did write a blog about it, but it became very draggy so I don't know if I will post it ever. It'll be in the cyberspace somewhere and I can still look back and read it in the future! I had the most amazing time with 2 of my good friends from university. I also met 6 other amazing students from all around the world. It's amazing how you meet people on certain trips and you know you are forever bonded with them that way. I will never ever forget the three lovely American girls I met, and the three lovely British friends as well. I never imagined I would be so close and have so much connection with 2 of these American girls. They are truly two special girls in my life and I owe everything to them for making my time in Trujillo so amazing.
Now Machu Picchu. I don't even know where to begin. This site was simply beyond beautiful. I did the 4 day 3 nights Inca Trail. I was certainly very anxious prior to the trail. While we were in Trujillo, we took a weekend off to Huaraz, a small town in the mountains up north full of culture. We did a one day trek, and needless to say, I died. I was inexperienced and I died. Due to this traumatic experience, I was extremely anxious about the Inca Trail. There were 6 of us on the trail, my 2 Australian companions and a British couple and a man from Netherlands. It was an amazing 4 day with these people. It was my first time not showering for longer than 2 nights and I must say, by the end of the 4 days, all of us just wanted to get back to our accommodation and shower!! Machu Picchu took my breath away for sure. The combination of the physical and mental fatigue after a 4 day 3 night trail made the site even more marvellous than it is. I remember walking towards Machu Picchu with excitement, and needed my friend to calm me down.
The South America experience was one of the best holidays of my life. When we returned home, we were all very sad. I certainly did not cope well at the beginning.
Not only were we delayed a whole day, which lead us to being a day late at school, we also moved into a new building. This building is meant to be 'State Of The Art', yet I could not appreciate it. Luckily though, I quickly snapped out of it, and began to appreciate it more. I still remember the first few weeks back at uni how we were the only ones in the building and the building was ours. Alas, a few weeks later, university timetable officially started and the building was up and running and filled with lots of students from different majors.
This semester has definitely been an interesting one. Looking back I was only working on a few cases, yet it took me a whole semester. The South America trip definitely healed my relationship with my friend. We started to mend the bridges (at least it seems like to me we did). We were slowly getting back on track. I was looking forward to our final year together, where we can possibly get closer and closer again, just like we were before. Now, I know we will never ever be the same as before, but any progress we make back towards how close we were would be better than the state we were in at the start of this year.
Not too long ago came the shocker. The school has decided to make some drastic changes to our curriculum structure, and one of the major changes is: final year students work as single operators. The plus side to this is that we get double exposure time. The downside is, we lose our partner. I think for many of us, we weren't ready to lose that partnership yet. Most of us, in our own pair, have worked so hard to build that bond and trust between us and now it's been taken away from us. However, we all must learn to adapt. Even if we were to stay in pairs, we would still separate after we graduate. This change is an attempt from the school to provide us with more experience and clinical times and I truly appreciate that. So here we are. Ending our partnership prematurely!
What's truly ending it prematurely is the fact that my partner fell sick during the 3rd last week of university. He was unable to attend Friday. I looked forward to his return, but he had called me that same Sunday telling me he isn't clear to come to university. He transferred all his planned appointments under my name and I provided care for his patients. However, he was then once again told a week later, he is not cleared to be in the clinic still. During this time, I had fell extremely sick. I lost my voice and was certainly not in the condition to attend university. But we can't have both of us not showing up! I also had to do a practical exam which was part of my assessment. I survived those 2 weeks, with a lot of support and help from friends. On the last day, I looked forward to my partner's return, but he was once again, not cleared. So here we go. We didn't even get to say goodbye properly. There certainly were a lot of emotions inside me on the last day. I was very upset. Seeing everyone having formerly thank their partner and find closure to their partnership, I felt lonely and empty.
Self discovery and improvement were also a big focus of the latter half of the year. A new blog has been started documenting a new part of my life. I have become more honest with more of my friends, and myself. I've discovered who my real friends are. I've also become closer with previous acquaintances as well. The most surprising one being a new found friendship with a caucasian male. We would describe our friendship, and as would lots of other people, as bromance. To me, it certainly was one of those unexpected friendship. With this bromance also came another friendship with his clinic partner. I've definitely discovered new support group within the university.
Sometimes life just puts new people in your life to flourish it. I have been blessed with a few new people in my life. Just as I thought life couldn't get any better…
I have been anxious over placement next year. I have heard outplacement opportunities are scarce and being a natural worry wort, I decided I will probably get the worst placement. Long story short, I pretty much got 2 of the best placements! One of which I have been dreaming of for nearly a whole semester!! The other one is another super amazing placement that I never thought I would get either.
At this point life seems to be going too good to be true. But I've learned to just take it as it is. Accept it. Enjoy it. Make the most out of it.
We are in the middle of study week. This is my form of taking a break. I am 3 weeks away from heading towards South America again. This time I am taking on Santiago de Chile, Buenos Aires and Mendoza, Argentina with my brother. It will be another once in a lifetime experience. I cannot wait to meet new people on this trip and put myself outside of my comfort zone.
Of course life hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies. However, I'm working on that. I'm working on being positive and not let negative thoughts cloud my mind.
-Daniel
Life has been surreal for the last 3 months. I don't even know where to begin to record this past 3 months down in an abridged, yet detailed manner.
Let's start with my unbelievable trip to Peru.
Peru was simply stunning. Beautiful. Every part of the trip took my breath away. I did write a blog about it, but it became very draggy so I don't know if I will post it ever. It'll be in the cyberspace somewhere and I can still look back and read it in the future! I had the most amazing time with 2 of my good friends from university. I also met 6 other amazing students from all around the world. It's amazing how you meet people on certain trips and you know you are forever bonded with them that way. I will never ever forget the three lovely American girls I met, and the three lovely British friends as well. I never imagined I would be so close and have so much connection with 2 of these American girls. They are truly two special girls in my life and I owe everything to them for making my time in Trujillo so amazing.
Now Machu Picchu. I don't even know where to begin. This site was simply beyond beautiful. I did the 4 day 3 nights Inca Trail. I was certainly very anxious prior to the trail. While we were in Trujillo, we took a weekend off to Huaraz, a small town in the mountains up north full of culture. We did a one day trek, and needless to say, I died. I was inexperienced and I died. Due to this traumatic experience, I was extremely anxious about the Inca Trail. There were 6 of us on the trail, my 2 Australian companions and a British couple and a man from Netherlands. It was an amazing 4 day with these people. It was my first time not showering for longer than 2 nights and I must say, by the end of the 4 days, all of us just wanted to get back to our accommodation and shower!! Machu Picchu took my breath away for sure. The combination of the physical and mental fatigue after a 4 day 3 night trail made the site even more marvellous than it is. I remember walking towards Machu Picchu with excitement, and needed my friend to calm me down.
The South America experience was one of the best holidays of my life. When we returned home, we were all very sad. I certainly did not cope well at the beginning.
Not only were we delayed a whole day, which lead us to being a day late at school, we also moved into a new building. This building is meant to be 'State Of The Art', yet I could not appreciate it. Luckily though, I quickly snapped out of it, and began to appreciate it more. I still remember the first few weeks back at uni how we were the only ones in the building and the building was ours. Alas, a few weeks later, university timetable officially started and the building was up and running and filled with lots of students from different majors.
This semester has definitely been an interesting one. Looking back I was only working on a few cases, yet it took me a whole semester. The South America trip definitely healed my relationship with my friend. We started to mend the bridges (at least it seems like to me we did). We were slowly getting back on track. I was looking forward to our final year together, where we can possibly get closer and closer again, just like we were before. Now, I know we will never ever be the same as before, but any progress we make back towards how close we were would be better than the state we were in at the start of this year.
Not too long ago came the shocker. The school has decided to make some drastic changes to our curriculum structure, and one of the major changes is: final year students work as single operators. The plus side to this is that we get double exposure time. The downside is, we lose our partner. I think for many of us, we weren't ready to lose that partnership yet. Most of us, in our own pair, have worked so hard to build that bond and trust between us and now it's been taken away from us. However, we all must learn to adapt. Even if we were to stay in pairs, we would still separate after we graduate. This change is an attempt from the school to provide us with more experience and clinical times and I truly appreciate that. So here we are. Ending our partnership prematurely!
What's truly ending it prematurely is the fact that my partner fell sick during the 3rd last week of university. He was unable to attend Friday. I looked forward to his return, but he had called me that same Sunday telling me he isn't clear to come to university. He transferred all his planned appointments under my name and I provided care for his patients. However, he was then once again told a week later, he is not cleared to be in the clinic still. During this time, I had fell extremely sick. I lost my voice and was certainly not in the condition to attend university. But we can't have both of us not showing up! I also had to do a practical exam which was part of my assessment. I survived those 2 weeks, with a lot of support and help from friends. On the last day, I looked forward to my partner's return, but he was once again, not cleared. So here we go. We didn't even get to say goodbye properly. There certainly were a lot of emotions inside me on the last day. I was very upset. Seeing everyone having formerly thank their partner and find closure to their partnership, I felt lonely and empty.
Self discovery and improvement were also a big focus of the latter half of the year. A new blog has been started documenting a new part of my life. I have become more honest with more of my friends, and myself. I've discovered who my real friends are. I've also become closer with previous acquaintances as well. The most surprising one being a new found friendship with a caucasian male. We would describe our friendship, and as would lots of other people, as bromance. To me, it certainly was one of those unexpected friendship. With this bromance also came another friendship with his clinic partner. I've definitely discovered new support group within the university.
Sometimes life just puts new people in your life to flourish it. I have been blessed with a few new people in my life. Just as I thought life couldn't get any better…
I have been anxious over placement next year. I have heard outplacement opportunities are scarce and being a natural worry wort, I decided I will probably get the worst placement. Long story short, I pretty much got 2 of the best placements! One of which I have been dreaming of for nearly a whole semester!! The other one is another super amazing placement that I never thought I would get either.
At this point life seems to be going too good to be true. But I've learned to just take it as it is. Accept it. Enjoy it. Make the most out of it.
We are in the middle of study week. This is my form of taking a break. I am 3 weeks away from heading towards South America again. This time I am taking on Santiago de Chile, Buenos Aires and Mendoza, Argentina with my brother. It will be another once in a lifetime experience. I cannot wait to meet new people on this trip and put myself outside of my comfort zone.
Of course life hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies. However, I'm working on that. I'm working on being positive and not let negative thoughts cloud my mind.
-Daniel
2013年6月1日 星期六
Pain, Plain, and Sustain
We often like to find out things that we know will upset us. We always want the truth, even if we know it will hurt us.
You put on a strong face and you look at me as if you are ok. You tell me everything is alright, and that you've forgotten about him. You want to shed some tears, but you are afraid you can't stop. You try to smile it off, but sometimes you just don't have the energy.
I can see you are hurt. I can see you're drained. I can see you want to start over. I can see you want a second chance. But what can I really do for you?
I just can't see you like this. It actually hurts a lot for me too. But how can I avoid you? How? I will never be able to avoid this situation.
I wish you can just cry your tears out. I wish you can cry your pain away. I wish you can cry the situation away. I wish you can change the situation by crying. If only it was that easy...
You ask me if you'll ever be happy again. If you'll be able to truly smile again.
You're barely surviving. And that breaks my heart.
-Daniel
You put on a strong face and you look at me as if you are ok. You tell me everything is alright, and that you've forgotten about him. You want to shed some tears, but you are afraid you can't stop. You try to smile it off, but sometimes you just don't have the energy.
I can see you are hurt. I can see you're drained. I can see you want to start over. I can see you want a second chance. But what can I really do for you?
I just can't see you like this. It actually hurts a lot for me too. But how can I avoid you? How? I will never be able to avoid this situation.
I wish you can just cry your tears out. I wish you can cry your pain away. I wish you can cry the situation away. I wish you can change the situation by crying. If only it was that easy...
You ask me if you'll ever be happy again. If you'll be able to truly smile again.
You're barely surviving. And that breaks my heart.
-Daniel
2013年5月27日 星期一
2 months, 2 haircuts, 2 decisions, 2 treatments, too much.
Stress level is higher than ever currently. Just a few more days I will be set free then thrown into an environment where the only way to get around is sign language. How we all love sign languages! People say music is the universal language. Some say love. I say being human already tells me you and I have a lot in common.
Over the last 2 months a lot has happened. New experiences. New people. New discoveries.
It's amazing how quick time flies. What would things be like now if that Saturday night never happened? We always seem to lose something before we realize how important it is and how much more we could have done to preserve it. My initial reluctancy only lead to later disappointment and sadness. Time flies when you are truly having fun. Or just when you're too busy. I guess having been both busy and having lots of fun means I should not complain at all. But tell me, how did it all end before it even started?
It felt like everything was just starting, then suddenly it was coming to an end. In a way I wasn't prepared, but we did make it clear at the beginning. It wasn't anyone's fault. It's never the other person's fault, right?
With 2 haircuts, we ended it. There is no deny to my sadness about it, but I am grateful we still remain bonded somehow.
Peru is fast approaching. Between now and there are only a few days to do last minute preparation. My shoes aren't here and cash isn't ready. On top of this, everyday is filled with an exam.
This is going to be a trip of a lifetime. I am excited, yet extremely anxious at the same time.
It's time for a new start.
-Daniel
Over the last 2 months a lot has happened. New experiences. New people. New discoveries.
It's amazing how quick time flies. What would things be like now if that Saturday night never happened? We always seem to lose something before we realize how important it is and how much more we could have done to preserve it. My initial reluctancy only lead to later disappointment and sadness. Time flies when you are truly having fun. Or just when you're too busy. I guess having been both busy and having lots of fun means I should not complain at all. But tell me, how did it all end before it even started?
It felt like everything was just starting, then suddenly it was coming to an end. In a way I wasn't prepared, but we did make it clear at the beginning. It wasn't anyone's fault. It's never the other person's fault, right?
With 2 haircuts, we ended it. There is no deny to my sadness about it, but I am grateful we still remain bonded somehow.
Peru is fast approaching. Between now and there are only a few days to do last minute preparation. My shoes aren't here and cash isn't ready. On top of this, everyday is filled with an exam.
This is going to be a trip of a lifetime. I am excited, yet extremely anxious at the same time.
It's time for a new start.
-Daniel
2013年4月29日 星期一
Challenged Values
Been a while since I wrote.
Life's been busy. Life's been good - I guess it hasn't been bad either so that makes it good? School work has picked up. All the angst 2 months ago are now gone. Specialties are being practiced. A balance is found. Sometimes I am an extremely paranoid person and I let this get the best of me sometimes. Speaking of paranoia, I am still worrying about tomorrow. I just hope it all goes well. I don't want 3 hours to go to waste. PLEASE SHOW UP!
Recently, something happened and has shaken me to my core. The last thing you want is for a loved one to tell you to not believe in your dream. Growing up in a family of such traditional and narrow minded values, it's hard to break through. I am not trying to defy these values, I'm simply embracing them in my own ways. Since 15 I have had this dream. It is for this goal that I have worked so hard for. There is a fear that I am going to be changed and transformed into an unrecognizeable person through the harsh reality of this world. Expressing this to a loved one was difficult. I expected support, however all I received was the complete opposite.
I do not believe I need to change.
However, when someone you love more than the world denies your dream, doesn't even take one second to acknowledge it, and just crushes it, it hurts.
You will never understand.
I have given up explaining to you.
You've shown me light, but may have also pushed me into darkness.
Daniel
Life's been busy. Life's been good - I guess it hasn't been bad either so that makes it good? School work has picked up. All the angst 2 months ago are now gone. Specialties are being practiced. A balance is found. Sometimes I am an extremely paranoid person and I let this get the best of me sometimes. Speaking of paranoia, I am still worrying about tomorrow. I just hope it all goes well. I don't want 3 hours to go to waste. PLEASE SHOW UP!
Recently, something happened and has shaken me to my core. The last thing you want is for a loved one to tell you to not believe in your dream. Growing up in a family of such traditional and narrow minded values, it's hard to break through. I am not trying to defy these values, I'm simply embracing them in my own ways. Since 15 I have had this dream. It is for this goal that I have worked so hard for. There is a fear that I am going to be changed and transformed into an unrecognizeable person through the harsh reality of this world. Expressing this to a loved one was difficult. I expected support, however all I received was the complete opposite.
I do not believe I need to change.
However, when someone you love more than the world denies your dream, doesn't even take one second to acknowledge it, and just crushes it, it hurts.
You will never understand.
I have given up explaining to you.
You've shown me light, but may have also pushed me into darkness.
Daniel
2013年3月3日 星期日
Faded Photographs
Memory is an interesting thing. It's like photographs (and by that, I mean traditional photographs that are processed and treated in dark rooms. Back in the days when films were used.) The moment it happens, or the moment it's processed, it's always the freshest. The colours are vibrant and the picture is clear. Then as time passes, the colours begin to fade, the details begin to blur, and the picture becomes fuzzy. Memory is like that too.
Recent events have caused me to really start to wonder about my need of hoarding objects. I get emotionally attached to objects and I seldom throw things out. A family member recently asked me for some iPhone 4 screen protectors, as she knows I have a lot stored somewhere. As to why I would store these items somewhere is beyond my understanding. Due to this sudden need of screen protectors, I had to go on a hunt for those little tiny things. Oh boy was that a disaster.
Before we continue, let's just say I am really bad with hoarding. Due to circumstances, I have four rooms. Two of which I have beds in, then the other two I simply use as storage and occasionally study. I also have a wardrobe that isn't for clothes, but for boxes of my belongings. I have boxes and boxes of clothes that I don't know if I'll ever wear again.
I quickly opened the wardrobe and had to go through a lot of those boxes. It's not that I don't know I possess certain things, but it's that I've forgotten. As I was going through these boxes, memories began to come back. Every item that I look through has a story to it... I began a trip down memory lane.
Life is a bitch sometimes. You feel like you are going down the right path and the right road, just for life to give you a sudden turn, and everything you know suddenly becomes different. Going through these things brought me back to my earliest memories of my childhood. From the picture perfect life back then, to my adventure in Australia, then to my highschool years of trying to figure out myself (hey, we've all been there), then to my early university years, and until now.
My childhood memories and times in Taiwan are becoming blurred. I remember bits and pieces. I do know for a fact I had a lot of fun and my brother and I were the stars of our family and at that moment in time, we had just about everything. Even if back then we wanted more, looking back now as an adult, I know we had everything we could have ever wanted. Then came our settlement in Australia, or rather the hastened settlement due to my stubbornness.
Life changed. Drastically. I began to take more responsibility. I began to darken. I began to sink. I slowly changed. For the better? Maybe. For the worse? Maybe too.
It's never easy to be thrown out of your comfort zone. For someone who's always had four limbs, if you take one limb away from them, they need time to absorb the shock, and digest the change. For someone who's always had a happy family with two parents, suddenly you have the parents breaking up, the kid will need to adjust too. For someone who's never had to work to get money, it's never easy for adjust when they're borderline bankrupt and need to support themselves. However, we are humans. We are born to adapt to change. We learn to cope with our surroundings.
In these massive piles of objects I possess, there are memories in every single item. I don't want to throw them away, because it means I will forget and lose the memory. But when is too much too much?
I'm only going to keep getting more objects to store, when will the old ones have to go?
I remember the days when love was just pure. Holding hands was everything. A little notebook meant the world.
I remember the days when getting up at 6am was a pain, but life was still perfect.
I remember the days when we all fought hard and made up hard. We thought we knew it all, but we actually only knew so little.
I remember the days when algebra felt like a necessity in life, but now I have not had to find 'x' in years.
I remember the days we laughed, cried and joked in the school grounds that were familiar to us, but now just a distant memory.
I remember our days in the foreign land where we tried to navigate through the different culture.
I don't want to forget. I don't want any of these memories to fade.
But just like photographs, they will fade one day... Unless you try to reproduce them.
Where is the innocence?
Where is the pureness?
-Daniel
Recent events have caused me to really start to wonder about my need of hoarding objects. I get emotionally attached to objects and I seldom throw things out. A family member recently asked me for some iPhone 4 screen protectors, as she knows I have a lot stored somewhere. As to why I would store these items somewhere is beyond my understanding. Due to this sudden need of screen protectors, I had to go on a hunt for those little tiny things. Oh boy was that a disaster.
Before we continue, let's just say I am really bad with hoarding. Due to circumstances, I have four rooms. Two of which I have beds in, then the other two I simply use as storage and occasionally study. I also have a wardrobe that isn't for clothes, but for boxes of my belongings. I have boxes and boxes of clothes that I don't know if I'll ever wear again.
I quickly opened the wardrobe and had to go through a lot of those boxes. It's not that I don't know I possess certain things, but it's that I've forgotten. As I was going through these boxes, memories began to come back. Every item that I look through has a story to it... I began a trip down memory lane.
Life is a bitch sometimes. You feel like you are going down the right path and the right road, just for life to give you a sudden turn, and everything you know suddenly becomes different. Going through these things brought me back to my earliest memories of my childhood. From the picture perfect life back then, to my adventure in Australia, then to my highschool years of trying to figure out myself (hey, we've all been there), then to my early university years, and until now.
My childhood memories and times in Taiwan are becoming blurred. I remember bits and pieces. I do know for a fact I had a lot of fun and my brother and I were the stars of our family and at that moment in time, we had just about everything. Even if back then we wanted more, looking back now as an adult, I know we had everything we could have ever wanted. Then came our settlement in Australia, or rather the hastened settlement due to my stubbornness.
Life changed. Drastically. I began to take more responsibility. I began to darken. I began to sink. I slowly changed. For the better? Maybe. For the worse? Maybe too.
It's never easy to be thrown out of your comfort zone. For someone who's always had four limbs, if you take one limb away from them, they need time to absorb the shock, and digest the change. For someone who's always had a happy family with two parents, suddenly you have the parents breaking up, the kid will need to adjust too. For someone who's never had to work to get money, it's never easy for adjust when they're borderline bankrupt and need to support themselves. However, we are humans. We are born to adapt to change. We learn to cope with our surroundings.
In these massive piles of objects I possess, there are memories in every single item. I don't want to throw them away, because it means I will forget and lose the memory. But when is too much too much?
I'm only going to keep getting more objects to store, when will the old ones have to go?
I remember the days when love was just pure. Holding hands was everything. A little notebook meant the world.
I remember the days when getting up at 6am was a pain, but life was still perfect.
I remember the days when we all fought hard and made up hard. We thought we knew it all, but we actually only knew so little.
I remember the days when algebra felt like a necessity in life, but now I have not had to find 'x' in years.
I remember the days we laughed, cried and joked in the school grounds that were familiar to us, but now just a distant memory.
I remember our days in the foreign land where we tried to navigate through the different culture.
I don't want to forget. I don't want any of these memories to fade.
But just like photographs, they will fade one day... Unless you try to reproduce them.
Where is the innocence?
Where is the pureness?
-Daniel
2013年1月12日 星期六
Innocence, childhood, relativity and reality.
As parents, you always want to protect your precious children from the evil, the harm, and the ugliness of the world. As a child, you have the innocence, the curiosity, the desire for more knowledge. You dream of the things you're going to do when you grow up, and the great things you will accomplish. You spend endless nights thinking what kind of future is waiting for you. You enjoy little things such as being able to eat sweets, and you enjoy little moments, such as simply going on a see-saw or a swing.
Have we all lost a sense of this innocence? The world is a dangerous, and almost unforgiving place. We go through puberty, we mature, we become adults, and yet most of us aren't even ready when we step into reality. However, when is the proper time to step into reality? For some of us, it may be never. We are so sheltered by the illusion created by our family, or our surrounding, we never see the true light. For some of us, we step into it unwillingly.
Truth is often stranger than fiction.
-Ddaniel
Have we all lost a sense of this innocence? The world is a dangerous, and almost unforgiving place. We go through puberty, we mature, we become adults, and yet most of us aren't even ready when we step into reality. However, when is the proper time to step into reality? For some of us, it may be never. We are so sheltered by the illusion created by our family, or our surrounding, we never see the true light. For some of us, we step into it unwillingly.
Truth is often stranger than fiction.
-Ddaniel
2013年1月3日 星期四
Family, Friends, and Farewell.
A new year has begun!
This year is going to be an exciting year because I will be tackling pretty much every aspect of dentistry from now on. I am super nervous, yet super excited and optimistic. However, I know this optimism won't last very long. Soon I will be beaten by the stress and busyness and I won't be able to breathe again.
The last few days have been very good with the recent accident being settled, welcoming the new year, and realising what's really important to me.
I've moved away from home for three years now. At first I hated it. I wanted to come home as much as possible and stay away from that accommodation as much as possible. Some time passed, then I became very used to it. I enjoyed the freedom of being alone. I enjoyed being by myself. It's funny because it's not even by myself, I have other housemates in the house too! The frequency of returning home to Brisbane became less and less. One month ago, I hated being back 'home' because I didn't feel at home. I feel like I was just stuck in a place where I have no freedom. I am used to being alone. I am used to washing my own dishes. I am used to cooking for myself. I am used to doing everything myself (or not do everything), and returning home makes me feel like a guest and feel restricted as well.
I've lost that family loving side of me for sure. I've taken my family for granted, thinking they'd always be here. However, I have slowly come to realise that's not the case. How many years will I really spend with them? Shouldn't the time I spend with them now be treasured? In 2 years time I will start to work. Will I still be at home? Will I move out? In 20, or 30 years time, are my parents and grandparent still going to be healthy? I don't want to regret when the time comes. I have been trying to make the most out of it lately, and I am slowly making progress.
Your parents raise you to be a certain way, but once a child enters the real world, they start to morph into the real 'him/her'. It's not that the child doesn't like your teaching, it's just the child isn't just a robot. I've become so different to what my family traditions dictate one should be, sometimes I feel like an outcast. I grew up in a Western culture and I've become very accustomed to it. I still have the Eastern side of me, however, some of the things that happen regularly at 'home' I just cannot agree with.
One of the most amazing type of love in this world is the love for your family. Recently I've rediscovered that in a different way. I've lost that sense of belonging in a family. For a short while last night, I felt like a part of the family too. I felt like that little boy I was 10 years ago again. The one who was loved and protected by everyone. It's not that I don't enjoy being loved and protected, I just don't need the same kind of love and protection. Your family should always be the first to put you on a pedestal and treat you like the king of the world. At least my family does that. My father is never one to be good with words, however his actions have spoken a lot over the last few years. I can tell he is proud of me and my brother and how far we've come from a family that's not perfect. He gives me all the freedom I need, and rarely complains about how little time I spend at home with family, or just with him, yet I know he secretly enjoys every moment spent with me. He's never really approached me to talk deeply or connect on any levels, yet he's treasured the little information and things I've given him. This love cannot be replaced by anything else in this world. With that, I hope I can return to the simple boy I used to be. Less hate, more love. It is family after all.
Now people often say, you are born with a family, but your friends are the family you choose to have around you. It is January 2013 now. I have met many new people last year and I feel privileged to have gotten to know all of them. Being born and raised in this country, I have never ever lived more than 6 months in another country other than Taiwan, where I am originally from. I do not know what it feels like to live in a place for a year and then having to leave. Just a year ago, around this time, I met a couple who was here for working holiday from Taiwan and I met them just at New Years Eve, then I had to quickly say goodbye to them in a few weeks. For me, I was sad but not devastated. Last year, I also met another person through a friend. Soon she will return (next week in fact). I feel sorrow, I feel sadness, because I don't want to ever say goodbye to anyone. Saying goodbye is as if you will never see the person again. However, is there any other way? That's how this world works. You can't stay in another country forever doing nothing unless you have earned your right as a citizen. There's no other alternative other than her departure and the goodbye that needs to be said. Will every January be like this? Will I have to say goodbye to someone again?
I am now 21. For 21 years, I have met many people, and have said goodbye to so many people. I will continue to do in my life. Friends come and go. People will walk into your life, and accompany you through a certain period, and then leave. What makes these people real is the memories you share with them. However, when you forget, what does it become?
What will happen in the future, no body knows. Will I keep in touch with this girl? Will I keep in touch with the friends I've just spent a good summer with? Maybe. Maybe not. To her, I am a big part of her whole memory of her 1 year of time in Australia. To me, she is a small part of my life here in Australia. To say she is a small part is in no way saying she is insignificant, but it's the truth. Her life (and also everyone who comes here for working holiday or holiday visa) is in Taiwan. That's the real life she lives. This is just a small chapter of her life. To me, my life is here. It's a big chapter. Her appearance is a part of a big chapter of my life. It's scary to think about it this way because if one forgets, then does it make this friendship real?
We always think of how things will be in a the future. Sometimes we are too caught up with predicting how the future will be, we forget to live in the present. So many faces come and go every day of our life, it almost seems impossible to say you'll remember 'every moment' you've spent with someone.
We all definitely take the time spent with friends for granted. Every one of these people I've met last year and gotten closer to means something to me. I've chosen to let them be a part of my life and they've also chosen to let me be a part of their life. What we need to do is cherish every moment and make every moment real.
I thank you, all my friends who's made 2012 special for me, the new friends, the old friends, the old friends that I haven't spoken to in a long time and the new friends that will come. Remember, if you judge every book by its cover, no books will be read. Same with people. If you never given them a chance, they will just be empty people in your life.
Farewell 2012.
Farewell, some friends.
We will meet again. I know it. It won't feel the same, but it will feel warm again.
-Daniel
This year is going to be an exciting year because I will be tackling pretty much every aspect of dentistry from now on. I am super nervous, yet super excited and optimistic. However, I know this optimism won't last very long. Soon I will be beaten by the stress and busyness and I won't be able to breathe again.
The last few days have been very good with the recent accident being settled, welcoming the new year, and realising what's really important to me.
I've moved away from home for three years now. At first I hated it. I wanted to come home as much as possible and stay away from that accommodation as much as possible. Some time passed, then I became very used to it. I enjoyed the freedom of being alone. I enjoyed being by myself. It's funny because it's not even by myself, I have other housemates in the house too! The frequency of returning home to Brisbane became less and less. One month ago, I hated being back 'home' because I didn't feel at home. I feel like I was just stuck in a place where I have no freedom. I am used to being alone. I am used to washing my own dishes. I am used to cooking for myself. I am used to doing everything myself (or not do everything), and returning home makes me feel like a guest and feel restricted as well.
I've lost that family loving side of me for sure. I've taken my family for granted, thinking they'd always be here. However, I have slowly come to realise that's not the case. How many years will I really spend with them? Shouldn't the time I spend with them now be treasured? In 2 years time I will start to work. Will I still be at home? Will I move out? In 20, or 30 years time, are my parents and grandparent still going to be healthy? I don't want to regret when the time comes. I have been trying to make the most out of it lately, and I am slowly making progress.
Your parents raise you to be a certain way, but once a child enters the real world, they start to morph into the real 'him/her'. It's not that the child doesn't like your teaching, it's just the child isn't just a robot. I've become so different to what my family traditions dictate one should be, sometimes I feel like an outcast. I grew up in a Western culture and I've become very accustomed to it. I still have the Eastern side of me, however, some of the things that happen regularly at 'home' I just cannot agree with.
One of the most amazing type of love in this world is the love for your family. Recently I've rediscovered that in a different way. I've lost that sense of belonging in a family. For a short while last night, I felt like a part of the family too. I felt like that little boy I was 10 years ago again. The one who was loved and protected by everyone. It's not that I don't enjoy being loved and protected, I just don't need the same kind of love and protection. Your family should always be the first to put you on a pedestal and treat you like the king of the world. At least my family does that. My father is never one to be good with words, however his actions have spoken a lot over the last few years. I can tell he is proud of me and my brother and how far we've come from a family that's not perfect. He gives me all the freedom I need, and rarely complains about how little time I spend at home with family, or just with him, yet I know he secretly enjoys every moment spent with me. He's never really approached me to talk deeply or connect on any levels, yet he's treasured the little information and things I've given him. This love cannot be replaced by anything else in this world. With that, I hope I can return to the simple boy I used to be. Less hate, more love. It is family after all.
Now people often say, you are born with a family, but your friends are the family you choose to have around you. It is January 2013 now. I have met many new people last year and I feel privileged to have gotten to know all of them. Being born and raised in this country, I have never ever lived more than 6 months in another country other than Taiwan, where I am originally from. I do not know what it feels like to live in a place for a year and then having to leave. Just a year ago, around this time, I met a couple who was here for working holiday from Taiwan and I met them just at New Years Eve, then I had to quickly say goodbye to them in a few weeks. For me, I was sad but not devastated. Last year, I also met another person through a friend. Soon she will return (next week in fact). I feel sorrow, I feel sadness, because I don't want to ever say goodbye to anyone. Saying goodbye is as if you will never see the person again. However, is there any other way? That's how this world works. You can't stay in another country forever doing nothing unless you have earned your right as a citizen. There's no other alternative other than her departure and the goodbye that needs to be said. Will every January be like this? Will I have to say goodbye to someone again?
I am now 21. For 21 years, I have met many people, and have said goodbye to so many people. I will continue to do in my life. Friends come and go. People will walk into your life, and accompany you through a certain period, and then leave. What makes these people real is the memories you share with them. However, when you forget, what does it become?
What will happen in the future, no body knows. Will I keep in touch with this girl? Will I keep in touch with the friends I've just spent a good summer with? Maybe. Maybe not. To her, I am a big part of her whole memory of her 1 year of time in Australia. To me, she is a small part of my life here in Australia. To say she is a small part is in no way saying she is insignificant, but it's the truth. Her life (and also everyone who comes here for working holiday or holiday visa) is in Taiwan. That's the real life she lives. This is just a small chapter of her life. To me, my life is here. It's a big chapter. Her appearance is a part of a big chapter of my life. It's scary to think about it this way because if one forgets, then does it make this friendship real?
We always think of how things will be in a the future. Sometimes we are too caught up with predicting how the future will be, we forget to live in the present. So many faces come and go every day of our life, it almost seems impossible to say you'll remember 'every moment' you've spent with someone.
We all definitely take the time spent with friends for granted. Every one of these people I've met last year and gotten closer to means something to me. I've chosen to let them be a part of my life and they've also chosen to let me be a part of their life. What we need to do is cherish every moment and make every moment real.
I thank you, all my friends who's made 2012 special for me, the new friends, the old friends, the old friends that I haven't spoken to in a long time and the new friends that will come. Remember, if you judge every book by its cover, no books will be read. Same with people. If you never given them a chance, they will just be empty people in your life.
Farewell 2012.
Farewell, some friends.
We will meet again. I know it. It won't feel the same, but it will feel warm again.
-Daniel
訂閱：
意見 (Atom)