Tonight I had my birthday celebration with my university friends.
It was so surreal and special.
Accepting the fact that I am now ready to go into my 5th year of university study has still not sunken in for me.
I still look back to that first day in high school. My family getting super excited and taking photos in the morning. I wore my shorts super high and tucked my shirt in. Pulled that long socks up and put my hat on (who the hell puts their hat on). Remembering getting from K Block to A Block was the biggest challenge. The second day of school, there was a huge rain. I had no idea how to get to A block, once again. In the heavy rain, a year 12 helped me there. We shared an umbrella, but nevertheless we were both wet. I was soaked wet. I got to class and I could not concentrate at all. I was drenched.
Fast forward, waking up the last day of high school was interesting too. I woke up and thought to myself 'this is it, this is where your life begins'.
I know that's what I'm going to feel next year too at my university graduation.
Remembering my first day at university, I was super lost. Not only did I have to come down from Brisbane to Gold Coast, I also missed the orientation day. I had no idea how university worked. I could not find any buildings. I arrived to the lecture late, and also drenched in sweat. I remember I didn't know where to sit as I really had no friends. I also remember not understanding a word at all in the biology lecture - as I have no background in biology whatsoever. The words 'mitochondria' scared the living hell out of me. Protein synthesis, cell membrane, cell wall. All I could think of was 'what the fuck?'
Fast forward now, my daily routine includes picking up a syringe that most people hate and injecting people with copious amount of local anaesthetic solution. Looking at teeth everyday and dealing with people's problems with their oral health.
5 years of high school sure go by quickly. 4 years of university has gone by quickly too. I have accomplished more than I could ever imagined. By the end of next year, it would be my 10th year of proper education (primary didn't really count!). It has been a long road hasn't it?
The celebration tonight was more than amazing. Having a group of friends that I love the most was unbelievable. However, I also had to face the sad fact that I will not see half of these people next year. Placement will be putting us in different places at all times. Suddenly I felt like I was detached from my closest friends against my will. I am pulled away by this unknown force without wanting to do it. Yet this is life isn't it? When we graduate, that's it. We will never all be in the same room together - or the occasion would be very rare. Will any of them remember this night as clear as I would?
This also begs me to question myself, what the fuck are you doing with your life right now?
Recent months have been a roller-coaster ride itself. I'm now starting to realise my stupidity and reflect on the true values of my previous actions. If you can't sort yourself out, why the fuck are you helping someone?
Sometimes the lights are too shiny and you become blinded for a second and lose your way. Maybe it's time to find that path again. Maybe letting go isn't so hard sometimes.
-Daniel
2013年11月16日 星期六
2013年11月9日 星期六
Deadlines, Dejections, and Discoveries.
It's been over 3 months since I last revisited this blog.
Life has been surreal for the last 3 months. I don't even know where to begin to record this past 3 months down in an abridged, yet detailed manner.
Let's start with my unbelievable trip to Peru.
Peru was simply stunning. Beautiful. Every part of the trip took my breath away. I did write a blog about it, but it became very draggy so I don't know if I will post it ever. It'll be in the cyberspace somewhere and I can still look back and read it in the future! I had the most amazing time with 2 of my good friends from university. I also met 6 other amazing students from all around the world. It's amazing how you meet people on certain trips and you know you are forever bonded with them that way. I will never ever forget the three lovely American girls I met, and the three lovely British friends as well. I never imagined I would be so close and have so much connection with 2 of these American girls. They are truly two special girls in my life and I owe everything to them for making my time in Trujillo so amazing.
Now Machu Picchu. I don't even know where to begin. This site was simply beyond beautiful. I did the 4 day 3 nights Inca Trail. I was certainly very anxious prior to the trail. While we were in Trujillo, we took a weekend off to Huaraz, a small town in the mountains up north full of culture. We did a one day trek, and needless to say, I died. I was inexperienced and I died. Due to this traumatic experience, I was extremely anxious about the Inca Trail. There were 6 of us on the trail, my 2 Australian companions and a British couple and a man from Netherlands. It was an amazing 4 day with these people. It was my first time not showering for longer than 2 nights and I must say, by the end of the 4 days, all of us just wanted to get back to our accommodation and shower!! Machu Picchu took my breath away for sure. The combination of the physical and mental fatigue after a 4 day 3 night trail made the site even more marvellous than it is. I remember walking towards Machu Picchu with excitement, and needed my friend to calm me down.
The South America experience was one of the best holidays of my life. When we returned home, we were all very sad. I certainly did not cope well at the beginning.
Not only were we delayed a whole day, which lead us to being a day late at school, we also moved into a new building. This building is meant to be 'State Of The Art', yet I could not appreciate it. Luckily though, I quickly snapped out of it, and began to appreciate it more. I still remember the first few weeks back at uni how we were the only ones in the building and the building was ours. Alas, a few weeks later, university timetable officially started and the building was up and running and filled with lots of students from different majors.
This semester has definitely been an interesting one. Looking back I was only working on a few cases, yet it took me a whole semester. The South America trip definitely healed my relationship with my friend. We started to mend the bridges (at least it seems like to me we did). We were slowly getting back on track. I was looking forward to our final year together, where we can possibly get closer and closer again, just like we were before. Now, I know we will never ever be the same as before, but any progress we make back towards how close we were would be better than the state we were in at the start of this year.
Not too long ago came the shocker. The school has decided to make some drastic changes to our curriculum structure, and one of the major changes is: final year students work as single operators. The plus side to this is that we get double exposure time. The downside is, we lose our partner. I think for many of us, we weren't ready to lose that partnership yet. Most of us, in our own pair, have worked so hard to build that bond and trust between us and now it's been taken away from us. However, we all must learn to adapt. Even if we were to stay in pairs, we would still separate after we graduate. This change is an attempt from the school to provide us with more experience and clinical times and I truly appreciate that. So here we are. Ending our partnership prematurely!
What's truly ending it prematurely is the fact that my partner fell sick during the 3rd last week of university. He was unable to attend Friday. I looked forward to his return, but he had called me that same Sunday telling me he isn't clear to come to university. He transferred all his planned appointments under my name and I provided care for his patients. However, he was then once again told a week later, he is not cleared to be in the clinic still. During this time, I had fell extremely sick. I lost my voice and was certainly not in the condition to attend university. But we can't have both of us not showing up! I also had to do a practical exam which was part of my assessment. I survived those 2 weeks, with a lot of support and help from friends. On the last day, I looked forward to my partner's return, but he was once again, not cleared. So here we go. We didn't even get to say goodbye properly. There certainly were a lot of emotions inside me on the last day. I was very upset. Seeing everyone having formerly thank their partner and find closure to their partnership, I felt lonely and empty.
Self discovery and improvement were also a big focus of the latter half of the year. A new blog has been started documenting a new part of my life. I have become more honest with more of my friends, and myself. I've discovered who my real friends are. I've also become closer with previous acquaintances as well. The most surprising one being a new found friendship with a caucasian male. We would describe our friendship, and as would lots of other people, as bromance. To me, it certainly was one of those unexpected friendship. With this bromance also came another friendship with his clinic partner. I've definitely discovered new support group within the university.
Sometimes life just puts new people in your life to flourish it. I have been blessed with a few new people in my life. Just as I thought life couldn't get any better…
I have been anxious over placement next year. I have heard outplacement opportunities are scarce and being a natural worry wort, I decided I will probably get the worst placement. Long story short, I pretty much got 2 of the best placements! One of which I have been dreaming of for nearly a whole semester!! The other one is another super amazing placement that I never thought I would get either.
At this point life seems to be going too good to be true. But I've learned to just take it as it is. Accept it. Enjoy it. Make the most out of it.
We are in the middle of study week. This is my form of taking a break. I am 3 weeks away from heading towards South America again. This time I am taking on Santiago de Chile, Buenos Aires and Mendoza, Argentina with my brother. It will be another once in a lifetime experience. I cannot wait to meet new people on this trip and put myself outside of my comfort zone.
Of course life hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies. However, I'm working on that. I'm working on being positive and not let negative thoughts cloud my mind.
-Daniel
Life has been surreal for the last 3 months. I don't even know where to begin to record this past 3 months down in an abridged, yet detailed manner.
Let's start with my unbelievable trip to Peru.
Peru was simply stunning. Beautiful. Every part of the trip took my breath away. I did write a blog about it, but it became very draggy so I don't know if I will post it ever. It'll be in the cyberspace somewhere and I can still look back and read it in the future! I had the most amazing time with 2 of my good friends from university. I also met 6 other amazing students from all around the world. It's amazing how you meet people on certain trips and you know you are forever bonded with them that way. I will never ever forget the three lovely American girls I met, and the three lovely British friends as well. I never imagined I would be so close and have so much connection with 2 of these American girls. They are truly two special girls in my life and I owe everything to them for making my time in Trujillo so amazing.
Now Machu Picchu. I don't even know where to begin. This site was simply beyond beautiful. I did the 4 day 3 nights Inca Trail. I was certainly very anxious prior to the trail. While we were in Trujillo, we took a weekend off to Huaraz, a small town in the mountains up north full of culture. We did a one day trek, and needless to say, I died. I was inexperienced and I died. Due to this traumatic experience, I was extremely anxious about the Inca Trail. There were 6 of us on the trail, my 2 Australian companions and a British couple and a man from Netherlands. It was an amazing 4 day with these people. It was my first time not showering for longer than 2 nights and I must say, by the end of the 4 days, all of us just wanted to get back to our accommodation and shower!! Machu Picchu took my breath away for sure. The combination of the physical and mental fatigue after a 4 day 3 night trail made the site even more marvellous than it is. I remember walking towards Machu Picchu with excitement, and needed my friend to calm me down.
The South America experience was one of the best holidays of my life. When we returned home, we were all very sad. I certainly did not cope well at the beginning.
Not only were we delayed a whole day, which lead us to being a day late at school, we also moved into a new building. This building is meant to be 'State Of The Art', yet I could not appreciate it. Luckily though, I quickly snapped out of it, and began to appreciate it more. I still remember the first few weeks back at uni how we were the only ones in the building and the building was ours. Alas, a few weeks later, university timetable officially started and the building was up and running and filled with lots of students from different majors.
This semester has definitely been an interesting one. Looking back I was only working on a few cases, yet it took me a whole semester. The South America trip definitely healed my relationship with my friend. We started to mend the bridges (at least it seems like to me we did). We were slowly getting back on track. I was looking forward to our final year together, where we can possibly get closer and closer again, just like we were before. Now, I know we will never ever be the same as before, but any progress we make back towards how close we were would be better than the state we were in at the start of this year.
Not too long ago came the shocker. The school has decided to make some drastic changes to our curriculum structure, and one of the major changes is: final year students work as single operators. The plus side to this is that we get double exposure time. The downside is, we lose our partner. I think for many of us, we weren't ready to lose that partnership yet. Most of us, in our own pair, have worked so hard to build that bond and trust between us and now it's been taken away from us. However, we all must learn to adapt. Even if we were to stay in pairs, we would still separate after we graduate. This change is an attempt from the school to provide us with more experience and clinical times and I truly appreciate that. So here we are. Ending our partnership prematurely!
What's truly ending it prematurely is the fact that my partner fell sick during the 3rd last week of university. He was unable to attend Friday. I looked forward to his return, but he had called me that same Sunday telling me he isn't clear to come to university. He transferred all his planned appointments under my name and I provided care for his patients. However, he was then once again told a week later, he is not cleared to be in the clinic still. During this time, I had fell extremely sick. I lost my voice and was certainly not in the condition to attend university. But we can't have both of us not showing up! I also had to do a practical exam which was part of my assessment. I survived those 2 weeks, with a lot of support and help from friends. On the last day, I looked forward to my partner's return, but he was once again, not cleared. So here we go. We didn't even get to say goodbye properly. There certainly were a lot of emotions inside me on the last day. I was very upset. Seeing everyone having formerly thank their partner and find closure to their partnership, I felt lonely and empty.
Self discovery and improvement were also a big focus of the latter half of the year. A new blog has been started documenting a new part of my life. I have become more honest with more of my friends, and myself. I've discovered who my real friends are. I've also become closer with previous acquaintances as well. The most surprising one being a new found friendship with a caucasian male. We would describe our friendship, and as would lots of other people, as bromance. To me, it certainly was one of those unexpected friendship. With this bromance also came another friendship with his clinic partner. I've definitely discovered new support group within the university.
Sometimes life just puts new people in your life to flourish it. I have been blessed with a few new people in my life. Just as I thought life couldn't get any better…
I have been anxious over placement next year. I have heard outplacement opportunities are scarce and being a natural worry wort, I decided I will probably get the worst placement. Long story short, I pretty much got 2 of the best placements! One of which I have been dreaming of for nearly a whole semester!! The other one is another super amazing placement that I never thought I would get either.
At this point life seems to be going too good to be true. But I've learned to just take it as it is. Accept it. Enjoy it. Make the most out of it.
We are in the middle of study week. This is my form of taking a break. I am 3 weeks away from heading towards South America again. This time I am taking on Santiago de Chile, Buenos Aires and Mendoza, Argentina with my brother. It will be another once in a lifetime experience. I cannot wait to meet new people on this trip and put myself outside of my comfort zone.
Of course life hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies. However, I'm working on that. I'm working on being positive and not let negative thoughts cloud my mind.
-Daniel
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