There was a time in my life when I thought I couldn't move on. I thought I can never move forward because the person I loved the most at that time had turned away from me. For me, I have never known any other ways to live but with that person by my side. Maybe it was the obsession of always having the person around that made the person push me away.
Somehow, I survived. I don't think about the person as much anymore, and when I do, I don't go down a spiral of sadness.
How did it happen? What did I do exactly to get over the situation?
How do you accept that the person you love the most in this world will never ever love you back? It is so hard to let go, yet at the same time you must.
Be glad that you have the capability to love though. I have never ever in my life thought I can love someone this much. It's almost a sick twisted love if you want to put it that way. It's when you want the person so badly, you don't care what you become. If I have to be sick with you, I will. If I have to get down on my knees for you, I will. The feeling is strong, too strong that it makes you blind and deaf from other good thing in your life.
Right now I'm wondering what my life was like before you walked in. What the hell did I do? How did I get through the days? Sometimes you can make someone the centre of your life that you forget this is YOUR own life that you're living and you need not place anyone in the centre but yourself. What did I do in those days again? What did I used to do when I wake up? Did I stare at my phone hoping for a call? A text? How did I go to places? These answers are still unclear to me.
It's hard to let go. It really is. When you start to think about how much fun you had and all the great times you've spent with the person, it really sets you back. You just really have to realize that what happened has happened and NOTHING can change that or take that away. If you went somewhere special, then you went somewhere special. It's a fact. Nothing can change that. So be glad that you were able to go somewhere special, or do something together.
It just sucks sometimes. You wish everything would go your way. You wish the person you love would love you back. Everything just seems so perfect, but it just wouldn't happen your way.
I want to share everything with you. I want you to know all about me. I want you to have all of me. I want you to take my heart as yours to break. I want you to do whatever you want to me. It's sick isn't it? Knowing I'm willing to sacrifice it all, but you won't take any of it, is somewhat eating me up.
Let this love remain unanswered. Let this seed remain in the soil and let it never sprout.
What isnt' meant to be isn't meant to be right? It's so much easier said than done.
Daniel
2012年9月15日 星期六
2012年9月3日 星期一
The Same Difference
Choosing 1 word to describe my past few weeks: BUSY.
However, reviewing the minor details carefully again, was I that busy? Or did I just choose to fill my time with small unimportant activities rather than important issues?
The feeling of wanting to start something, but not knowing where to begin and how to begin is frustrating. However, once you take that big first step, usually there is no return. I am in the stage where there's no turning back. I like it this way though. I am going to power through till the end and show the world this amazing product I've been talking about.
Sometimes I wonder if two people with very opposite personalities can really be best or close friends. They say opposites attract, but that's talking about love right? In the situation of pure friendship, can it work out? Time changes people, so what happens when what each other's wants and needs changes? Do you stop being friends?
I have no problem with a lot of things... Most of the time. Yet, when it comes to a few people, I just can't accept that their certain actions. Yes maybe I do put people on pedestals, but when does putting people on pedestals cross the fine line of pure respect and distorted obsession? You and I are no different, the only difference is I respect you a lot more than you respect yourself, and myself. You live and learn don't you?
Another important lesson in life is: practice what you preach. Actions speak louder than words. However, sometimes, people's actions are questionable. Do you practice what you preach? If you preach too much, you actually cannot practice everything. I've always wanted to see your actions speak louder than your words, yet I seldom see that. It makes me question whether you're all talk no walk. I'm certainly not saying I always do the right thing and let my actions speak louder than words, but in the world of supportiveness, you WILL see my actions.
Becoming more involved in the studies of religions makes me puzzle a lot of the basis of religions. When someone is too caught up in their faith, do they lose their perspective in the real world? Do you ever take a step back and think if you have put an overwhelming amount of belief and faith into someone or something that you've been blind sighted by what is real and what is not? I'm not saying don't have a religion and don't believe in anything, but is there ever too much?
We all need improvements. Not just me, him and her, you do too.
-Daniel
However, reviewing the minor details carefully again, was I that busy? Or did I just choose to fill my time with small unimportant activities rather than important issues?
The feeling of wanting to start something, but not knowing where to begin and how to begin is frustrating. However, once you take that big first step, usually there is no return. I am in the stage where there's no turning back. I like it this way though. I am going to power through till the end and show the world this amazing product I've been talking about.
Sometimes I wonder if two people with very opposite personalities can really be best or close friends. They say opposites attract, but that's talking about love right? In the situation of pure friendship, can it work out? Time changes people, so what happens when what each other's wants and needs changes? Do you stop being friends?
I have no problem with a lot of things... Most of the time. Yet, when it comes to a few people, I just can't accept that their certain actions. Yes maybe I do put people on pedestals, but when does putting people on pedestals cross the fine line of pure respect and distorted obsession? You and I are no different, the only difference is I respect you a lot more than you respect yourself, and myself. You live and learn don't you?
Another important lesson in life is: practice what you preach. Actions speak louder than words. However, sometimes, people's actions are questionable. Do you practice what you preach? If you preach too much, you actually cannot practice everything. I've always wanted to see your actions speak louder than your words, yet I seldom see that. It makes me question whether you're all talk no walk. I'm certainly not saying I always do the right thing and let my actions speak louder than words, but in the world of supportiveness, you WILL see my actions.
Becoming more involved in the studies of religions makes me puzzle a lot of the basis of religions. When someone is too caught up in their faith, do they lose their perspective in the real world? Do you ever take a step back and think if you have put an overwhelming amount of belief and faith into someone or something that you've been blind sighted by what is real and what is not? I'm not saying don't have a religion and don't believe in anything, but is there ever too much?
We all need improvements. Not just me, him and her, you do too.
-Daniel
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