No More Credit Left

There are things in this world that just simply cannot be described with words, painted by pictures, or explained to others.

Memory is one of them.

We went for a downward spiral into something I don't even know what it is now. At first I thought you changed a lot. Now it seems like we both have changed a lot. I really don't know what happened. Did I care too much? Did you not care enough?

Where I am now is I'm at a point of pretty much not caring anymore. But why is it so painful for me to look back?

I don't want to not care. That's simply not me, yet I believe it's the best thing for me to do.

Anyway.

So I took a look at the memory bank account today. There's so much in there... Then I started to think about how it all started. How it all began. We were complete strangers. Though right now we aren't complete strangers, we've still lost that initial spontaneity. Time changes people, and it also changes relationships. Maybe this change was for the better huh?

At least I know I have some evidence of some of the great things we've done together... I really hope we can do something similar together again one day... I can only hope...

I still hold you close to me though. I think friendships change and it's no use looking back at what used to be. Just gotta keep moving. I guess we will have to make great memories some other way from now on.

Now I know what that song is talking about and why I always feel so emotional when I hear it... I'm getting older too...

-Daniel

What the? Since when? How?

Certain human emotions are stupid but they just exist.

I've always thought certain people are childish or at least the way they think is very childish. Also the way they act out what they think is childish.

However, the shock comes when one day you realise you may be borderline doing the same thing. Or better yet, you are doing it too.

I don't want to be a hater, or a petty person, or a childish person. However, recently, a lot of things have been triggering my negativeness and I've been having thoughts and opinions that are just childish and STPUID.

I don't want to be like that... I don't even know where this came from! I thought everything was cool, but is it really?

Is it the stress? Or have I simply just changed? Or have you changed?

I don't know what it is, but I don't like myself like this. At least I've come to a realisation I'm doing it. Some people don't even know how fxcking dumb they look eh?

-Daniel